Hate being sick...

On December 9th, we went on a marriage retreat that the Army was doing, it was in Ruidoso New Mexic0. Well I soon as we all got back Iain and Brian caught a stomach bug. Iain has had it since than. And now I think I'm getting it. My poor little boy can't seem to kick this bug.

Out numbered still....

We found out this morning that Baby A is a BOY....And Baby B is a little girl. Brian and I are over the moon about our new additions to our family. Both are healthy and right on track growth wise. So, I asked Brian how he felt about having a little girl and he said that he had to learn a whole new set of rules. I laughed so hard when he said that.

The Holidays are here....

• 

So who is ready. I for one am not in the least bit ready.

• 

Pregnancy = kicking my butt

So this pregnancy has been so very different from my pregnancy with Iain. I was totally unprepared for morning sickness and extreme fatigue. I knew that I would be tired but this is ridicules. I get so extremely tired 2hours after I wake up that it makes it so very hard to do anything with Iain. The morning sickness just wont go away. Every one said that it I should be over it once I got into my second trimester, but I guess its the difference between a single and and twin pregnancy. But it is totally kicking my butt. I really hope that I have a little more energy by next week (so I can actually make Thanksgiving dinner, my first time. And I would like to spend an enjoyable visit with my parents while they are here).

Update...

• Brian and I found out in September that we were expecting (again). And than the next week I started to spot and had some cramping, so we went into the ER. Where the ER doctor ordered an ultrasound and everything was okay. The only thing that was out of the ordinary was that there were two babies. I was shocked (well to be honest I'm still shocked) and Brian was (is) super excited. I'm 14weeks along (the farthest I've gotten since Iain). Have had 2 ultrasounds since our ER visit. We have another one next week (and if the twins aren't too shy we may be able to found out their genders, just in time for Thanksgiving and my parents visit).
• Iain is no longer a baby. He has gotten so very big and I can't believe how much he has changed since we moved to Texas. Not only how much he has changed physically (he is almost 38lbs and he is 3'4" tall) but how independent he has become. Oh and his imagination has changed. He also talks all the time. He has even started to say the prayer without being prompted by Brian or me. His prayers are just so funny sometimes. (I'll post them later).
• Brian is now working nights from 7pm-6am. He is on the Thanksgiving team. He loves it.
• Brian's parents were just out here to visit us for 5days. It was nice to have them to come and stay with us. Iain loved have grandma and grandpa here to play with. He sure became grandma and grandpa's boy while they were here, he didn't want them out if his sight. He was always asking "where grandma and grandpa?, "I want grandma and grandpa". And he was always showing off for them. Well they were here I was no longer the favorite. But I'm okay with that, it was nice to get a little extra rest. I don't know who was more excited to be here, Marlene or Darrel, I think it was a tie between them. While they were here Marlene and I went to get a pedicure well the guys had Iain. It was nice to just have a girls day (even if it was only for a few hours). We showed them around base and El Paso.

What makes you think of Halloween...

When I think of Halloween I always think of Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven. It sends the right of chills down your spine.

THE RAVEN.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore —

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

“ ’Tis some visiter,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door —

Only this and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow; — vainly I had sought to borrow

From my books surcease of sorrow — sorrow for the lost Lenore —

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore —

Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;

So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating

“ ’Tis some visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door —

Some late visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door; —

This it is and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;

But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,

And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,

That I scarce was sure I heard you” — here I opened wide the door; ——

Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,

Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;

But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,

And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore?”

This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!” —

Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,

Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.

“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;

Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore —

Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—

‘Tis the wind and nothing more!”

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,

In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;

Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;

But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door —

Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door —

Perched, and sat, and nothing more. [column 5:]

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,

“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,

Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore —

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,

Though its answer little meaning — little relevancy bore;

For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being

Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door —

Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,

With such name as “Nevermore.”

But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only

That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.

Nothing farther then he uttered — not a feather then he fluttered —

Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before —

On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before.”

Then the bird said “Nevermore.”

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,

“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store

Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster

Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore —

Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore

Of ‘Never — nevermore’.”

But the Raven still beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;

Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking

Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore —

What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore

Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing

To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;

This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining

On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er,

But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er,

She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer

Swung by seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.

“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee — by these angels he hath sent thee

Respite — respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore;

Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! — prophet still, if bird or devil! —

Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,

Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted —

On this home by Horror haunted — tell me truly, I implore —

Is there — is there balm in Gilead? — tell me — tell me, I implore!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! — prophet still, if bird or devil!

By that Heaven that bends above us — by that God we both adore —

Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,

It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore —

Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting —

“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!

Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!

Leave my loneliness unbroken! — quit the bust above my door!

Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,

And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted — nevermore!

On September 11th, where were you that day...

• The tenth anniversary of September 11th is here. Sometimes it seems like yesterday that it happened. I remember sitting in my second class of the day of my junior year (Physics with Mister Becker) at Robinson Secondary School in Fairfax, VA. Mr. Becker always had the radio on but when the music stopped and the radio DJ come on and started talking about a plane hitting the World Trade Center Mr. Becker ran to the TV and turned it on. We were all in kind of a daze while it was happening first one plane than another. The a TV reporter said the a plane had been highjacked and was heading to the Pentagon (in our own backyard) most of my friends have parents and extended family that worked in or around the Pentagon. So we all started to pull our cell phones out to make sure that the ones we loved were safe. But the lines were down. It was surreal in a way that this was happening here in the US. My generation had always lived without fear of this magnitude.

• I cant believe that it has been ten years since the WTCs went down. But at the same time I'm glad that high school is over. Since 9/11 I've gotten married and had a child. Also moved more than half way across the US. My husband is a solider in the US Army. And though I'm worried that he'll be deployed I have faith that he'll always come home safe. We are active in our church and have been sealed in the temple. And know that Heavenly Father is in control. I also know that Heavenly Father doesn't control the actions of man but gives us leave to chose our own way. We are accountable for our own actions and choses. I just hope that one day things will be different not the same that they were ten years ago but somehow better than the last ten years. I would love to not be afraid that the other shoe was going to drop at any given time.

• I'm thankful that my family was safe on the day and is safe today. I'm also so very thankful for our service men and women and all others in uniform that helped rescue so my lives that day.

• I don't know how we are going to tell our son about that day. But for now I think we wont tell him anything (he is 2 years old after all). But one day Brian and I will tell him where we were and what we thought and how we felt that day way back before he was born.

Sorry for the bullets blogger is spacing my paragraphs.

My friends are trying to adopt..

I hope that anyone that reads this can pass their information along. They are such sweet people. And great parents. http://www.mikeandjessadopting.blogspot.com/ Please go check their blog out and you'll see just how wonderful they are. I've known them as a couple since 2005. But Jess and I went to high school together. Mike and Jess are the most deserving couple I know to raise another child. They've always wanted to have a large family. It never mattered to them if their children came to them naturally or through adoption. However their children come to them they will be loved just them same. Mike and Jess have the biggest hearts and give their love and friendship freely. They don't hold anything back. Here's hoping that their information gets into the right hands and to the right person out their.

August 25th

So on the 25th at 8:30pm I told Brian that I needed to go to the ER. Off and on the week before I would experience pain just under my right breast that would feel like some thing was stabbing me and I would feel it all the way around my chest (my back and down into my hips and legs). But it would only last a few minutes and go away. I would experience this once or twice a day until the evening of the 25th at 6pm. The pain continued for a week and half after I left the ER. So as I said we got there at around 8:30pm, they started some tests and than made me wait in the waiting room till 2am, at which time I was finally in a bed waiting to see a doctor. But before that Iain was so over tired and I was in so much pain that I asked Brian for a priesthood blessing. So he called the only person that we had there phone number. It was 11pm. And the brother came and they gave me a blessing. After the blessing the brother asked if their was anything that he could do for us. When we couldn't think of anything he asked if he could take Iain to his house so that he could get some sleep. And we could pick him up after we were discharged from the hospital. So after he left with Iain. Brian and I waited to for forever. After we finally got into a bed we didn't see a doctor till 8am. Meanwhile I hadn't eaten since dinner the night before and I hadn't been given anything for my pain. So at 8:30am the doctor came in to examine me. He ordered an ultrasound. And also ordered morphine. The ultrasound showed that my gallbladder was inflamed and the opening looked to small. So the doctor started talking about gallbladder surgery. Which made me freak out a little bit. The nurse came in to give me the morphine (.05) I was in lala land faster than you can say well fast. I fall a sleep. So surgery was out ruled and I was discharged at 11am. 15 hours in the ER. And on my discharge papers it said "you came in with acute abdominal pain, the cause of your pain is unknown." So that was the worst day that I have had since we moved to Texas.

Potty Training...

So I was thinking I might start potty training Iain at the end of the month. What books and movies to you guys recommend using? Iain will be 2.5 in October and I was hoping that we could have him potty trained my Christmas or his 3rd birthday. I would like to save the money we spend on diaper and wipes. Do you have any suggestions or advice would be great?

We are in Texas

We finally moved out of my in-laws house at the end of July. Brian called me the Monday before we moved to tell me that he found an apartment and was ready to sign the lease and get things moving. He also said he hoped to be in Colorado by Friday night. Well I was in no way ready to move (I had not finished packing our stuff yet). I told two of my really good friends (sorry I don't use names unless I have asked them before hand) that it looked like we were leaving at the end of the month but I needed help packing. One of them set up a packing party and even said that she wanted to throw a farewell party. So the Thursday before we left a bunch of our friends came to the house to help me pack. We were packing for 6 hours. And got all but the last minute stuff done. I'm so thankful for friends and family that helped that day. If it had only been me I don't think I would have gotten it done. Brian got in last the next night. Saturday morning a few people came over to help bring everything up stairs and to stage it on the lawn before we picked up the truck. After we finished staging everyone left but told us to call them after we picked up the truck. We did and between my husband and brother-in-law and two others we got everything onto the truck. Sunday morning we finished all the last minute things packed on the truck and our van than we were off. We got a much later start than we had planned but oh well stuff happens. Darrell drove the van while we drove the van. Iain wanted to ride in the truck with grandpa so we let him. We drove till about midnight and just couldn't go any longer. So we stopped for the night in New Mexico. And left early the next day to drive the rest of the way. We finally got in and started to unload the van and truck. We left most of the stuff on the truck till the next day. And we explored the area. The next day we called the missionaries in our new ward to see if they could come to help us unload. They come over and we were able to get everything off the truck and into the apartment. Than the real fun began. Oh unpacking is so much fun. I think I like unpacking less than I like packing. But oh well I love being able to use my own stuff and having my our house. Its great.

So Sunday is the day...

As a few of you know Brian and I have been trying to have another baby for a while now. Gotten pregnant and miscarried more than once. So we (I) started going to see a specialist and after the tests for run and the results came in, the doctor's advice was that we try Clomid. Brian and I talked and prayed about it, so we told my doctor that we wanted to try the medication for a while. She also told me that she wanted me to go on a higher dosage of the Clomid. So I'm on a higher dosage of this medication and Sunday is the first day that I supposed to start taking it. Here's hoping that the medication works the first month. Here's hoping and praying.

I'm a lisensed driver...

On the 22 of June 2011 I took the driver's test in CO... and wait for it... I passed. I know I'm 27 1/2 years old but better late than never. And after the minor accident I was in I was in so much pain and the meds I was on I haven't driven till today. I drive to Costco to get gas and than to K-Mart to get dinner for Iain and I. I'm not going to lie it was a bit uncomfortable driving tonight. I was in a little bit of pain and a little bit afraid of getting hit again. So I hope that this gets better the more I drive around.

Waitting to sign a lease...

So Brian found us an apartment. Its 15minutes from the base. Which means Brian was able to attended the ward that we will live in the bounders of. We are going to be the newest members of Hondo Pass Ward of The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Brian is going to see if the apartment complex has a 4 bedroom because he said he thought that he read somewhere that it did. But if not there is a 3 bedroom and 2 bathroom with a washer and dryer. We are just trying to get all the paper work together so that we can get the ball rolling. He won't be able to come out here to get us till he is done with in processing which could take up to another week (or more) than he has to wait till he gets the all clear for the DDY leave. So we are looking at August till we are together again. And can start setting up our home together. But the best part is Iain will finally have his own room for the very first time. I actually get to decorate a room for my little boy. Its not the nursery that I wish I had been able to do for him but a big boy room. He says he wants a Thomas the Tank Engine room. Maybe one day I'll get to decorate a nursery. I'm just so ready to have our stuff out of boxes and out where we (and our guests can see it). Decorating our home the way I want to. I'm really looking forward to it.

Babies grow up

So I cant believe that Iain has gotten so big over the last few months. He is talking up a storm and doing more and more by himself. Iain is even understands that we are moving to Texas (though he say to the airport on a plane. Its super cute). His loves Disney's Cars and Thomas the Tank Engine. Everything is either about Queen or Thomas. He loves to say nap time and bed time prayers. Favorite books right now are Hand Hand Fingers Thumb and Stop! Train, Stop! Playing in the dirt and sand is more fun than anything else in the world. I love my boy who is getting so very big each and every day.

So...We are in limbo

So Brian left for El Paso last week. He has been looking at apartments to see if one of them we are going to call home. He is coming up empty. Either they are too far from base, don't have washer and dryer hook ups, or are just plain on the wrong side of town (we're talking scary part of town). This limbo kinda sucks. I hate being separated from Brian again. I really don't like sleeping alone. And on top of that I'm in pain from a minor car accident the day after Brian left. So I'm in a little bit of pain. (ok you see we just traded in our car and got a 2006 Saturn Relay mini van. And while driving it around the side view mirror was almost taken of my car. Oh I finally have my drivers license and yes I know I'm 27 1/2 years old but better late than never). So I was pretty shaken up about it and yes I know it really could have been worst and I'm glad that Iain wasn't in the car with me. So being in pain I need help but I have to be the mom and moms don't get a sick day. But I was that Brian and I were together so that he could help with picking up Iain and any thing that is 2lbs (the doctor I went to told me not to left anything heavier than 2lbs). So life kinda sucks and this being in limbo is even worst. I can't wait till we are a family again.

Happy 4th of July

So this morning the ward that we attend here in CO had a pancake breakfast. It was so very hot today. Iain had so much fun playing with his friends there. Than we came home after that and I put Iain down for a nap (while I took one myself). I invited my friend Regina and her family to come over to the house for a bar-b-q. It was a lot of fun to have people come over to celebrate. The only thing that would have made this day even better would be if Brian had been with us. The fireworks started after Iain went to bed so he wasn't able to see them so maybe next year. Remember that our freedoms where fight for by many service men and women. Not with words but with blood, sweat, and a lot of times tears. Our freedom is not free it was bought and paid for with the blood and lives of our service men and women. I for one am so thankful for those soldiers and their families that a lot if times cant be together during the holidays or even birthdays of their love ones or don't get to ever see their loved ones again. So thank you to all our service men and women.

Graduation from AIT

(I know that this is late but what that saying. Oh yeah. Better late than never). I've been so utterly happy and excited to have my husband by my side again that this blog has kinda taken a back seat. But I thought that I should write it all down before I forget details of the things we did.

So on June 2nd Brian graduated with honors from AIT at Fort Lee in Petersburg VA. I'm so very proud of him and the things that he is doing for our family.

Saturday after he graduated from AIT we went to the DC Temple to perform sealings. I was the only female in a group (so I got to do a bunch of sealings) it was quite memorable. We were able to help seal one of the other gentlemen's family for all eternity. He was so nice. He was grateful that we were able to help him do that for his family. He looked at peaceful and utterly happy. I'm glad that we got to go to the Temple that we were married in and even more grateful that we are sealed for eternity.

He doesn't have to report to Fort Bliss until the 28th of June. So we are going to have him in Co for almost 3 weeks. Brian is going to be working at the Recruiters for 14 days which is great.

Hershey Park and train rides

Last week end we went to PA to visit Hershey Park and to go on a train ride. We left Friday night to drive up to PA. We stayed in Strasburg Pa at a Marriot (my parents wanted to stay in Hershey but all of the hotels were booked). Iain rode all the kiddie rides at the Park that he could go on. I've never seen my little boy have so much fun riding the kiddie rides he didn't want to get off. He would ask to get in line again just so he could continue to ride them. My parents and I wear he out so that he crashed in the stroller. So my parents and I walked around the park so that he could get a nap. We also went to chocolate world and bought chocolate and some other gifts for Iain and family. The next day we went on a train ride but before the train ride we went to a toy train museums. I was impressed by the shire number of toy trains that there are out there. Iain and my dad were in heaven while we were there. After we left the toy train museum we went to the train station to board our train. Iain's little face just lit up like a Christmas tree and his beautiful blue eyes got so big when he realized that Gram, Pop Pop, and Mommy were taking him on a real train. We had lunch on the train. Iain gave our tickets to the conductor. I was so excited that he was telling every one that would listen that he was on a choo-choo train. He loved to hear the train whistle and would laugh in delight whenever he heard it. There was a photographer that came around and let Iain wear a conductors hat for our picture. After we disembarked from the train we went to the train museum across the street. At that museum there were interactive stations that kids could actually try out how to shovel coal into the fire box, push buttons on the dash board of a train, and make the whistle sound off. After riding the train and playing at the museum he crashed on the drive back to my parents house.

Motherhood...

• No one told me that I would fall so madly in love the first time I saw 2 lines on a home pregnancy test (no not announcement just my thoughts) with someone I had never seen. But be so scared that I was going to be a mom to a little person.
• How much labor hurt but forgetting all about the pain when you hold your baby for the first time. Knowing that you would do it all over again for each and every child that is yours.
• Breastfeeding is hard but worth it (as long as your not under a ton of stress). Wishing that I hadn't given up when I did.
• Get as much sleep before your baby is born because you won't get any till they are 18years old.
• Saying no the first time is always the hardest. But your the mom and you need to let them know that.
• Dirt is ok it won't kill them. Because it didn't kill you. Kids say "God made dirt and dirt don't hurt." Believe it and just get over your fear of it.
• Kids are fearless. They will claim on everything and jump off everything that they can.
• If you try and protect then from every germ they will always be sick. Some germs are ok. Be careful but don't try and shield them from everything.
• Kids smile all the time. And they don't hold grudges for long.
• Your child will always know that you are his/her mom but they just do.

I sure there's more but it has slipped my mind for the moment.

Made it to VA...And the angels I meet on the way...

Well I woke up at 3:15am to finish last minute packing before we headed to the airport. I woke Iain up at 3:30am so that he could wake up Grandpa. We got on our way at quarter till 4am. Iain and I got to the airport at quarter after 4am. I was able to get through TSA rather quickly. There was a lady right behind me in line while we were in line with TSA who helped me get everything out of my carry ons and folding the stroller. I'm so grateful for the angels that Heavenly Father sends to me in places like this. Iain and I got to our gate with 45minutes to spare. While we were on the breeze way (well at the end of it) I was trying to get the stroller folded up so I could get Iain and I on the plane so we could get some seats. But I was struggling with folding the stroller and Iain was making a bee line for the door of the plane. One of the co-pilots saw what was happening and asked me if I thought Iain would like to see the cockpit. I told him that Iain would love that and that would make his day. I asked him if I should wait for him, the gentleman said that they would bring him to me at my sit. One of the stewardess's brought Iain back to me and about 5minutes later the co-pilot came up to me and said that this was a bit unorthodox but he took some pictures of Iain on his phone and would like my e-mail and/or number so he could send them to me, but he was unsure if he could get them to send because he had just gotten his phone and was unsure how it worked. I of cause gave him the information that he asked for. (And after we landed I got 2 text messages from a number I didn't know but it was 2 pictures of Iain sitting in the cockpit. I was thrilled that this man was willing to one take a little boy into the cockpit while I finished folding the stroller and two was thoughtful enough to take pictures of a little boy how was over the moon to be flying on a plane and send them to his mother as a sweet reminder of his excitement to be flying. Iain was bouncing in his seat the entire time and claiming all over me (pretty sure I'm going to have more busies on my hips and legs. It's not the first time and I know it won't be the last). We landed at Midway airport and had an 1.5 hours till we boarded our connecting plane to IAD. I changed Iain out of his pjs and into comfortable clothes and his harness (child leash) just so I wouldn't lose him in the airport (my boy knows how to get out of his seatbelt in the stroller). During this leg of our flight Iain watched Disney's Peter Pan and stayed in his seat the entire time. (Oh did I say that Iain had yet to fall a sleep). After we landed we headed to baggage claim. We passed Trace Atkins (way cool and no I didn't stop and get a picture but he said hi to Iain and told me Iain was a cute little boy. And that just made my day. I'm going to count that as another angel). I saw my brother PJ, we than got my suitcases and headed out to my mom. Iain fall a sleep in the van. So we drove around a little bit. Mom wanted to show me the new buildings on GMU's campus. Holy moly there is so much new construction on campus it doesn't look the same to me.

The Doctor says...

According to the doctor that I've been seeing about the recurrent miscarriages, she would like me to go on Clomid and possible do a few IVF treatments. Brian and I are ok with going on Clomid but the IVF we are a bit unsure of. We want to try the medication for a little while and if nothing happens we'll go through with IVF. I don't know how many of you have been reading our blog but this has been really hard to write and even harder to go through. I'm sorry for any of my friends that have gone through losing a baby and than being told that you should try IVF to carry a baby. I know Brian and I haven't been trying for another baby for very long. Please keep us in your thoughts and your prayers while we go through this.

Any Suggestions...

I'm trying to start our food storage over again. Since we didn't have a lot of money and places to put it when we first came to CO. And we are moving in July I was hoping to re-start our food storage. I've made 22 jars of jam and plan on making 12 more. Plus I'll be canning salsa and tomatoes when we get back from VA in June. We have cereals and water. But else should I be looking to get stocked up before we leave for Texas?

Thomas the Tank Engine

Iain loves Thomas the Tank Engine (I'm obsessed with Tomas and any and all trains). When we went to see Brian at Fort Sill in OK, Brian got Iain his first Thomas train wooden play set. And since then he has gotten 2 more trains, aquarium cars, and and expansion tracks for the wooden play set and he even has a battery operated train (which is pretty cool). Brian asked me to pick up a big Thomas wooden train set (which I have yet to get. I will hopefully on Monday). But which one to get? Any suggestions?

All Domestic and stuff...

So earlier this week I decided that I wanted to make home made jam. I have never canned in my life. I thought that it would be so hard but in truth it was quite easy. I made 14 jars of strawberry freezer jam to take with us when we move to Texas in July. I had all these strawberries left over but I didn't want to have my freezer totally full of freezer jam. So I made shelf jam. You have to cook it than while it is still hot you ladle the liquid into the jars. So I made 5 pint mason jars of strawberry jam and 3 pint mason jars of cherry jam. That's a total of 22 jars of jam. I want to make pear,orange marmalade jams, and salsa. Any one have recipes for any of those. So how knew that I was this domestic.

Oh yeah, Iain has croup. So this is fun. We are leaving for VA on Tuesday. So of cause he would get sick so close to us flying out of town. Hopefully he will be all better by the time we leave on Tuesday. I don't want to fly with a sick little boy.

Currently

Book(s) 1) The Thorne of Fire (book two in The Kane Series) by Rick Riordan, 2) Unbuttoned a book where Women open up about the pleasures, pains, and politics of breastfeeding edited by Dana Sullivan and Maureen Connolly, and 3) Great Expectations: The Essential Guide to Breastfeeding By Marianne Neifert, MD

They say knowledge is power, so I've been reading any and all books on breastfeeding. I'm hoping that the more I know before I have another baby that I wont give up they way I did with Iain. And the first is purely for pleasure. But for most of my day I read children's books to Iain.

Song Angel by Beverley Mitchell

Frequently worn outfit/item bright blue sweat pants with hearts on one side, white camisole, and a gray zipper hoodie.

Perfume Don't normally wear any. But when I do it's Fancy by Jessica Simpson

Makeup Don't normally wear it. Just Sundays, date night, and when we get pictures done. I prefer the natural look light colors (sometimes blues to make my blue eyes look bluer) and a pink blush. Gloss for my lips.

Food hotdog, chips and dip, and watermelon.

Drink ice water and Sierra Mist Natural

Guilty Pleasure Cosmopolitan (Cosmo) and Pepsi

Bane of my existence interfering hypocrite sister-in-law and brother-in-law

Joy My sweet boy, Iain and my wonderful husband, Brian

Anticipation Seeing my family and friends in VA and getting to see Brian graduate from AIT and than bring him home with me.

Wish List To be able to carry another baby to term. From my little family to be together again under the same roof.

Thought

"Let us never forget to pray. God lives. He is near. He is not only aware of us but cares for us. He is our Father. He is accessible to all who seek Him." Gordon B. Hinckley

Yesterday was Mother's Day...(a few days late)

Lately I've been thinking about what a mother should be. Growing up my birth mother wasn't always the best example of what a mother should be. She had days that she was the worlds best mother but for the most part she wasn't. I loved her but I feared her more. I didn't want my children to fear me. Than after I was placed with Anne and Russ (from here on out to be Momma/Mom and Dad). I got the best example of what a mom should be. And I hope that I'm more like her than the other. I had so many good examples of what a mother should be while at church. I was blessed to be exposed to these wonderful women while attending church.

So some of my thoughts on motherhood are: you don't have to have it all together all the time, sometimes your house is going to be messy but your kids will be happy so does it matter that the dishes in the sink have been there for a few days. The answer is no. I would rather have a happy baby. Rocking your baby is more important than dusting any day of the week. Even if you take a shower while your kids are napping and not when you wake up who really cares, your kids don't mind. Playing with them on the floor is more fun than just watching them play. Teaching them about the world around them gives you more insight and joy than you could ever imagine. There are always going to be days when you want to throw the towel in but when your kids give you the brightest smile and tell you that they love you we'll know that you would go through it all over again but so you could hear that sentence and see that smile again. Let your kids know that you love them not just with your words but your actions. You may be a mom but try and remember that you were a wife first and show your husband that you still(and always will love him), again not just with your words but your actions. Even if you don't like what you look like after having kids your husband still does and your kids don't care anyway. Show everyone around you that you take proud in your family (no matter how small or big it is) because being a mother is not a right but a privilege and a blessing. These are just a few things that I have learned over the last 3 years (mind you the first two were kinda a blur). I'm so blessed that I have the privilege of being Iain's mommy and learning from all the wonderful women in my life of what makes a great mom (being able to pull together for my self from taking from their collective wisdom is an honor. Thank you to all you wonderful and caring mothers out there. Hope your Mother's Day was as uplifting and joyful as mine was.

Mark.....Set.....Go!

So today Iain and Gabe were running circles around the main floor of the house. And Iain stopped in front of Leslie and said "Mark...Set...Go!" than starting running just as fast as he could. Every time he would get to were Leslie was sitting he would say it again. How funny is that? I didn't know that he could say that at all. This morning before we left for his doctor appointment I had he watching Mickey Mouse Clubhouse so that I could get stuff together to go. And todays episode was about shapes. He could name all the shapes. I was quite impressed by that. He doesn't do it on command but when he thinks no one is listening and watching him he will say and do many things. He really is quite smart and a huge stinker.

Apartment Hunting...is the pits

So for the last 2 and a half weeks I've been looking for apartments in El Paso Texas. And finding a few that I think would be great for a little family. But when I finally get someone at the apartment complex to either pick up the phone or call me back I'm told that the 2 bedrooms are all taken and they are unsure when they will have one available for rent. And there is a waiting list a year long for base housing. I'm so at the end of my rope. My mother-in-law says that its time that we are a family again (I agree with her) and she wants us out of here when Brian is done with Home Town Recruiter but what do you do when you aren't having any luck finding a place to live. I could seriously scream.

books you have to read to qualify as a person

1. Tuesdays With Morrie -- Mitch Albom

2. The Shack -- WM Paul Young

3. Way to Be! -- Gordon B. Hinckley

4. The Town Beyond the Wall -- Elie Wiesel

5. The Last Lecture -- Randy Pausch

6. Dawn -- Elie Wiesel

7. Siddhartha -- Hermann Hesse

8. A Christmas Carol -- Charles Dickens

9. Black Like Me -- John Howard Griffin

10. The Book of Mormon ('nuff said)

11. Eat. Pray. Love -- Elizabeth Gilbert

12. The Count of Monte Cristo -- Alexandre Dumas

13. To Kill A Mockingbird -- Harper Lee

14. The Outsiders -- S.E. Hinton

15. Travels With Charley -- John Steinbeck

16. Hamlet -- William Shakespeare

17. Oedipus Rex -- Sophocles

18. The Republic -- Plato

19. My Name is Asher Lev -- Chaim Potok

20. The Kite Runner -- Khaled Hosseini

21. The Fountainhead -- Ayn Rand

22. The Chosen -- Chaim Potok

So does this mean I'm not a qualified as a person...?

30 Day blog challenge

Day 1 - A photo of yourself and a description of how your day was.

Day 2 - A photo of something you ate today.

Day 3 - Your idea of the perfect first date.

Day 4 - Your favorite photograph of your best friend

Day 5 - A photo of yourself two years ago

Day 6 - A photo of an animal you'd love to keep as a pet

Day 7 - Your dream wedding

Day 8 - A song to match your mood

Day 9 - A photo of the item you last purchased

Day 10 - A photo of your favorite place to eat

Day 11 - What's in your make up bag?

Day 12 - A photograph of the town you live in

Day 13 - Your favorite musician and why

Day 14 - A TV show you're currently addicted to

Day 15 - Something you don't leave the house without

Day 16- Your Celebrity Crush

Day 17 - A photo of you and your family.

day 18- Something you crave a lot

Day 19 - Another picture of yourself.

Day 20 - The meaning behind your blog name.

Day 21 - A photo of something that makes you happy.

Day 22 - A letter to someone who has hurt you recently.

Day 23 - 15 facts about you.

Day 24 - A photo of seomthing that means a lot to you.

Day 25 - What's in your purse?

Day 26 - A photo of somewhere you've been to

Day 27 - A picture of you last year and now and how you have changed since then?

Day 28 - Your favorite movie

Day 29 - Something you could never get tired of doing

Day 30 - A photograph of yourself today + three good things that happened in the past.

So I'm planning to start this when I get to VA next week.