Lovely

Friday, October 14, 2011

What makes you think of Halloween...

When I think of Halloween I always think of Edgar Allan Poe's The Raven. It sends the right of chills down your spine.

THE RAVEN.

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered, weak and weary,

Over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore —

While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping,

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.

“ ’Tis some visiter,” I muttered, “tapping at my chamber door —

Only this and nothing more.”

Ah, distinctly I remember it was in the bleak December;

And each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor.

Eagerly I wished the morrow; — vainly I had sought to borrow

From my books surcease of sorrow — sorrow for the lost Lenore —

For the rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore —

Nameless here for evermore.

And the silken, sad, uncertain rustling of each purple curtain

Thrilled me — filled me with fantastic terrors never felt before;

So that now, to still the beating of my heart, I stood repeating

“ ’Tis some visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door —

Some late visiter entreating entrance at my chamber door; —

This it is and nothing more.”

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,

“Sir,” said I, “or Madam, truly your forgiveness I implore;

But the fact is I was napping, and so gently you came rapping,

And so faintly you came tapping, tapping at my chamber door,

That I scarce was sure I heard you” — here I opened wide the door; ——

Darkness there and nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,

Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to dream before;

But the silence was unbroken, and the stillness gave no token,

And the only word there spoken was the whispered word, “Lenore?”

This I whispered, and an echo murmured back the word, “Lenore!” —

Merely this and nothing more.

Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within me burning,

Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.

“Surely,” said I, “surely that is something at my window lattice;

Let me see, then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore —

Let my heart be still a moment and this mystery explore;—

‘Tis the wind and nothing more!”

Open here I flung the shutter, when, with many a flirt and flutter,

In there stepped a stately Raven of the saintly days of yore;

Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;

But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my chamber door —

Perched upon a bust of Pallas just above my chamber door —

Perched, and sat, and nothing more. [column 5:]

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,

“Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,” I said, “art sure no craven,

Ghastly grim and ancient Raven wandering from the Nightly shore —

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the Night’s Plutonian shore!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

Much I marvelled this ungainly fowl to hear discourse so plainly,

Though its answer little meaning — little relevancy bore;

For we cannot help agreeing that no living human being

Ever yet was blessed with seeing bird above his chamber door —

Bird or beast upon the sculptured bust above his chamber door,

With such name as “Nevermore.”

But the Raven, sitting lonely on the placid bust, spoke only

That one word, as if his soul in that one word he did outpour.

Nothing farther then he uttered — not a feather then he fluttered —

Till I scarcely more than muttered “Other friends have flown before —

On the morrow he will leave me, as my Hopes have flown before.”

Then the bird said “Nevermore.”

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,

“Doubtless,” said I, “what it utters is its only stock and store

Caught from some unhappy master whom unmerciful Disaster

Followed fast and followed faster till his songs one burden bore —

Till the dirges of his Hope that melancholy burden bore

Of ‘Never — nevermore’.”

But the Raven still beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,

Straight I wheeled a cushioned seat in front of bird, and bust and door;

Then, upon the velvet sinking, I betook myself to linking

Fancy unto fancy, thinking what this ominous bird of yore —

What this grim, ungainly, ghastly, gaunt, and ominous bird of yore

Meant in croaking “Nevermore.”

This I sat engaged in guessing, but no syllable expressing

To the fowl whose fiery eyes now burned into my bosom’s core;

This and more I sat divining, with my head at ease reclining

On the cushion’s velvet lining that the lamp-light gloated o’er,

But whose velvet-violet lining with the lamp-light gloating o’er,

She shall press, ah, nevermore!

Then, methought, the air grew denser, perfumed from an unseen censer

Swung by seraphim whose foot-falls tinkled on the tufted floor.

“Wretch,” I cried, “thy God hath lent thee — by these angels he hath sent thee

Respite — respite and nepenthe, from thy memories of Lenore;

Quaff, oh quaff this kind nepenthe and forget this lost Lenore!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! — prophet still, if bird or devil! —

Whether Tempter sent, or whether tempest tossed thee here ashore,

Desolate yet all undaunted, on this desert land enchanted —

On this home by Horror haunted — tell me truly, I implore —

Is there — is there balm in Gilead? — tell me — tell me, I implore!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Prophet!” said I, “thing of evil! — prophet still, if bird or devil!

By that Heaven that bends above us — by that God we both adore —

Tell this soul with sorrow laden if, within the distant Aidenn,

It shall clasp a sainted maiden whom the angels name Lenore —

Clasp a rare and radiant maiden whom the angels name Lenore.”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

“Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!” I shrieked, upstarting —

“Get thee back into the tempest and the Night’s Plutonian shore!

Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!

Leave my loneliness unbroken! — quit the bust above my door!

Take thy beak from out my heart, and take thy form from off my door!”

Quoth the Raven “Nevermore.”

And the Raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting

On the pallid bust of Pallas just above my chamber door;

And his eyes have all the seeming of a demon’s that is dreaming,

And the lamp-light o’er him streaming throws his shadow on the floor;

And my soul from out that shadow that lies floating on the floor

Shall be lifted — nevermore!

Friday, September 9, 2011

On September 11th, where were you that day...

  • The tenth anniversary of September 11th is here. Sometimes it seems like yesterday that it happened. I remember sitting in my second class of the day of my junior year (Physics with Mister Becker) at Robinson Secondary School in Fairfax, VA. Mr. Becker always had the radio on but when the music stopped and the radio DJ come on and started talking about a plane hitting the World Trade Center Mr. Becker ran to the TV and turned it on. We were all in kind of a daze while it was happening first one plane than another. The a TV reporter said the a plane had been highjacked and was heading to the Pentagon (in our own backyard) most of my friends have parents and extended family that worked in or around the Pentagon. So we all started to pull our cell phones out to make sure that the ones we loved were safe. But the lines were down. It was surreal in a way that this was happening here in the US. My generation had always lived without fear of this magnitude.
  • I cant believe that it has been ten years since the WTCs went down. But at the same time I'm glad that high school is over. Since 9/11 I've gotten married and had a child. Also moved more than half way across the US. My husband is a solider in the US Army. And though I'm worried that he'll be deployed I have faith that he'll always come home safe. We are active in our church and have been sealed in the temple. And know that Heavenly Father is in control. I also know that Heavenly Father doesn't control the actions of man but gives us leave to chose our own way. We are accountable for our own actions and choses. I just hope that one day things will be different not the same that they were ten years ago but somehow better than the last ten years. I would love to not be afraid that the other shoe was going to drop at any given time.
  • I'm thankful that my family was safe on the day and is safe today. I'm also so very thankful for our service men and women and all others in uniform that helped rescue so my lives that day.
  • I don't know how we are going to tell our son about that day. But for now I think we wont tell him anything (he is 2 years old after all). But one day Brian and I will tell him where we were and what we thought and how we felt that day way back before he was born.
Sorry for the bullets blogger is spacing my paragraphs.

Wednesday, September 7, 2011

My friends are trying to adopt..

I hope that anyone that reads this can pass their information along. They are such sweet people. And great parents. http://www.mikeandjessadopting.blogspot.com/ Please go check their blog out and you'll see just how wonderful they are. I've known them as a couple since 2005. But Jess and I went to high school together. Mike and Jess are the most deserving couple I know to raise another child. They've always wanted to have a large family. It never mattered to them if their children came to them naturally or through adoption. However their children come to them they will be loved just them same. Mike and Jess have the biggest hearts and give their love and friendship freely. They don't hold anything back. Here's hoping that their information gets into the right hands and to the right person out their.

August 25th

So on the 25th at 8:30pm I told Brian that I needed to go to the ER. Off and on the week before I would experience pain just under my right breast that would feel like some thing was stabbing me and I would feel it all the way around my chest (my back and down into my hips and legs). But it would only last a few minutes and go away. I would experience this once or twice a day until the evening of the 25th at 6pm. The pain continued for a week and half after I left the ER. So as I said we got there at around 8:30pm, they started some tests and than made me wait in the waiting room till 2am, at which time I was finally in a bed waiting to see a doctor. But before that Iain was so over tired and I was in so much pain that I asked Brian for a priesthood blessing. So he called the only person that we had there phone number. It was 11pm. And the brother came and they gave me a blessing. After the blessing the brother asked if their was anything that he could do for us. When we couldn't think of anything he asked if he could take Iain to his house so that he could get some sleep. And we could pick him up after we were discharged from the hospital. So after he left with Iain. Brian and I waited to for forever. After we finally got into a bed we didn't see a doctor till 8am. Meanwhile I hadn't eaten since dinner the night before and I hadn't been given anything for my pain. So at 8:30am the doctor came in to examine me. He ordered an ultrasound. And also ordered morphine. The ultrasound showed that my gallbladder was inflamed and the opening looked to small. So the doctor started talking about gallbladder surgery. Which made me freak out a little bit. The nurse came in to give me the morphine (.05) I was in lala land faster than you can say well fast. I fall a sleep. So surgery was out ruled and I was discharged at 11am. 15 hours in the ER. And on my discharge papers it said "you came in with acute abdominal pain, the cause of your pain is unknown." So that was the worst day that I have had since we moved to Texas.

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Potty Training...

So I was thinking I might start potty training Iain at the end of the month. What books and movies to you guys recommend using? Iain will be 2.5 in October and I was hoping that we could have him potty trained my Christmas or his 3rd birthday. I would like to save the money we spend on diaper and wipes. Do you have any suggestions or advice would be great?

Sunday, August 14, 2011

We are in Texas

We finally moved out of my in-laws house at the end of July. Brian called me the Monday before we moved to tell me that he found an apartment and was ready to sign the lease and get things moving. He also said he hoped to be in Colorado by Friday night. Well I was in no way ready to move (I had not finished packing our stuff yet). I told two of my really good friends (sorry I don't use names unless I have asked them before hand) that it looked like we were leaving at the end of the month but I needed help packing. One of them set up a packing party and even said that she wanted to throw a farewell party. So the Thursday before we left a bunch of our friends came to the house to help me pack. We were packing for 6 hours. And got all but the last minute stuff done. I'm so thankful for friends and family that helped that day. If it had only been me I don't think I would have gotten it done. Brian got in last the next night. Saturday morning a few people came over to help bring everything up stairs and to stage it on the lawn before we picked up the truck. After we finished staging everyone left but told us to call them after we picked up the truck. We did and between my husband and brother-in-law and two others we got everything onto the truck. Sunday morning we finished all the last minute things packed on the truck and our van than we were off. We got a much later start than we had planned but oh well stuff happens. Darrell drove the van while we drove the van. Iain wanted to ride in the truck with grandpa so we let him. We drove till about midnight and just couldn't go any longer. So we stopped for the night in New Mexico. And left early the next day to drive the rest of the way. We finally got in and started to unload the van and truck. We left most of the stuff on the truck till the next day. And we explored the area. The next day we called the missionaries in our new ward to see if they could come to help us unload. They come over and we were able to get everything off the truck and into the apartment. Than the real fun began. Oh unpacking is so much fun. I think I like unpacking less than I like packing. But oh well I love being able to use my own stuff and having my our house. Its great.

Friday, July 15, 2011

So Sunday is the day...

As a few of you know Brian and I have been trying to have another baby for a while now. Gotten pregnant and miscarried more than once. So we (I) started going to see a specialist and after the tests for run and the results came in, the doctor's advice was that we try Clomid. Brian and I talked and prayed about it, so we told my doctor that we wanted to try the medication for a while. She also told me that she wanted me to go on a higher dosage of the Clomid. So I'm on a higher dosage of this medication and Sunday is the first day that I supposed to start taking it. Here's hoping that the medication works the first month. Here's hoping and praying.

I'm a lisensed driver...

On the 22 of June 2011 I took the driver's test in CO... and wait for it... I passed. I know I'm 27 1/2 years old but better late than never. And after the minor accident I was in I was in so much pain and the meds I was on I haven't driven till today. I drive to Costco to get gas and than to K-Mart to get dinner for Iain and I. I'm not going to lie it was a bit uncomfortable driving tonight. I was in a little bit of pain and a little bit afraid of getting hit again. So I hope that this gets better the more I drive around.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

Waitting to sign a lease...

So Brian found us an apartment. Its 15minutes from the base. Which means Brian was able to attended the ward that we will live in the bounders of. We are going to be the newest members of Hondo Pass Ward of The Church Of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Brian is going to see if the apartment complex has a 4 bedroom because he said he thought that he read somewhere that it did. But if not there is a 3 bedroom and 2 bathroom with a washer and dryer. We are just trying to get all the paper work together so that we can get the ball rolling. He won't be able to come out here to get us till he is done with in processing which could take up to another week (or more) than he has to wait till he gets the all clear for the DDY leave. So we are looking at August till we are together again. And can start setting up our home together. But the best part is Iain will finally have his own room for the very first time. I actually get to decorate a room for my little boy. Its not the nursery that I wish I had been able to do for him but a big boy room. He says he wants a Thomas the Tank Engine room. Maybe one day I'll get to decorate a nursery. I'm just so ready to have our stuff out of boxes and out where we (and our guests can see it). Decorating our home the way I want to. I'm really looking forward to it.